Staring at a blank page before me....

Isn't that what life is? A blank page?

We have the choice of what we're going to write on the pages of our lives. THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING when you think about it. God allows us that freedom...but we should choose very carefully what our story will include.

I imagine my pages filled with lots of music (that's how I met my husband) ...lots of pink (my favorite color) and girly things too (since we have 3 daughters) and there'd be some blue and a wonderful descripton of just how soft a grandson's skin is... but if you looked underneath all the bright colors and doodling and fun stuff scattered all over the pages and you could read my real story you'd discover a timid, shy woman who feels as though she is still quite youthful, but somehow she's trapped inside a 46 year old body. I've never felt like I've matured enough. I'm a wife and mother that has hormone issues, occasional blahs, failing eyes and large love handles (what a crazy name for that hideous part of my body). eek!

I want to write all over my life with adventures-the spur of the moment places I've went to-instead of always wanting to know the plan. I so long to write about the people I've met (and actually spoke to - not just thinking of what to say that would sound impressive or that I'm smart like them). I want to write about the lives I've changed because I was kind to EVERYBODY...not just the ones who were kind to me. I want to influence people, not impress. I want to write about how I've allowed God to use me...however HE chooses .. instead of holding myself back from becoming the person He longs for me to be.

Hmmmmm

Today I'm coloring my blank pages with lots and lots of gray...maybe because it's gloomy outside. Maybe because I'm a little depressed. Maybe because I wish I could be happy with just who I am.

Maybe tomorrow I'll splash my pages with lots of bright sun-shiny yellow, Pinks of all shades....lavender blue and baby blue and oh yes, green...ahhhh....what a lovely color...it makes me think of going barefooot in the grass (without stickers). :o)

I challenge us all to write a really gr8 life story! One that reels 'em in....keeps on the edge of their seat...one that inspires..... One that would make our savior smile from ear to ear and make the angels sing.

I'll start tomorrow.

A day in the life of Noah

I'm sooooo thankful for the streams of light making Noah squint this morning.  He's playing on the floor with me and the dining room blinds are open allowing a certain glow in the room.

His blue eyes are sparkling.  

Yesterday I took him to work with me for a little bit and then to the dental office I work at to see Auntie CC who just loved on him and kissed on him.  (I got hugs & kisses from her too).  He smiled at all the girls in the office...flirted a little too.  From there, on to my house to see Gramps (my husband, Keith).  He was half asleep from the drive there when we arrived, but when he heard Gramps voice he perked right up and went straight to him.  Gramps loves to sit in his big chair and rock with Noah and Noah loves it too.  He wants to sit up like a big boy..he's so small compared to Gramps...they look soooo cute sitting together.  We went outside to take a walk but it was SO sunny I was afraid his little bald head would be red in no time...so instead we sat under the covered swing and relished in the warmth God bestowed upon us.  The wind whisked around us which caught Noah off guard.  He seemed to shudder a bit.  I just kept thinking about all that he is learning.  Seeing the leaves fall from our oaks.  Watching our cat PB stroll by us and then hop up onto the swing.  Noah wanted to pull his fur...he'd really like to pull him up to his mouth to really explore the cat, but that wasn't an option.  :0)   

I sang him songs that I've sang to his momma and aunties countless times.  He just sat there taking it all in.  Very content to be held & sang to.  It was much different from last Tuesday when I went with Kacee to a place way out in Oklahoma to visit the Pioneer Woman and her guest Bakerella who taught us how to make Cake Pops.  If you're interested just go to Kacee's blogsite "Life In My Ark"... she's got all the 411 and the sites posted to learn more about these two amazing ladies.  It was a fun time, one to be remembered for sure.

So, today is another day to watch Noah learn and grow.  We started the morning off watching a Baby Einstein DVD on sign language.  It's very cute with bright colors.  We learned "eat", "mother", "father", "drink"... I guess I should say I LEARNED... but he'll get it.  They are very easy signs.  Right now he is bouncing away on his horsey all the while laughing and "talking" to me, laughing and trying to eat the horses maine.  I think he'd prefer to have a hot bottle and a little snoozy so I'm going to close and take care of him.

Here's to your Wednesday....or whatever day it is you are reading.  May you have health, happiness and much, much love always.  God bless you!

cindy ann

God knows us!

YES HE DOES!!!  I'm floored by the very thought that He knows how many hairs are on my head.  That He created me in my mother's womb.  He sends me picture post cards everyday with the Sunrises and Sunsets and how about all those beautiful Daffodils popping their little heads out?  Yep, you got it...He sends us flowers too and for no special occasion, just because He loves us.

I was reading in 2 Timothy last night and came across something I had doodled above the scripture.  I had just prayed that Noah would understand me when I speak to him about Jesus.  Then I turned to a scripture that was intended to encourage Timothy not to veer away from his scriptural teachings and the faith that was first with his mother and GRANDMOTHER.... Yes, God knows what we think, feel and yearn for.  I know He's using me to help train Noah in the way he should go.

I praise YOU God...You truly are worthy of all my praises and all my worship.

Thank you for KNOWING us...all about us and that you STILL love us.

Aren't we so blessed to call Him savior and friend?

peace to all

Freedom in Forgiveness

My honey read another chapter from the Love Dare this morning about how Love Frees us.  I know my blogs have been a little "preachy", but that's because of two things:

1. It's what's going on in my life right now

2. I think God wants me to pass on what I learn.

So I'm obliged to write.

Quick & simple...when we hold a grudge and cannot forgive we not only relive our pain everytime the person who offended us comes to mind...we also keep ourself in bondage to that memory.  I mean REALLY!!!  Why on earth would we want to do that?  I'll tell you why, it's because of that old sneaky snake, satan.  He'd love nothing more than to keep those memories fresh on our minds, hurting us over and over again, all the while we become more and more resentful and angry at our "enemies". 

Choose TODAY for freedom.  Forgive...you know what that is.  You hear about it at church....but fail to live by it.  I want a changed life.  Don't you?  

To truly change, we MUST make a choice to forgive and LIVE...and to love. 

 Love...true love awaits.  Oh yes, and peace is an added bonus. 

Be FREE my friend.

xxoo 

Real tears

Today I saw real tears come from Noah.   :0(    I was mixing up a batch of cereal for him, a big whopping 1/2 teaspoon to mix with his formula.  He ate it all earlier today, but completely refused and boy did he let me know he DID NOT WANT IT!!  

I went to change his diaper before rocking him with his bottle.  As he screamed and cried my heart just hurt for him.  He just wanted his bottle and a nap. What was taking me so long to get 'r done?  I wiped away his tears, grabbed his warmed bottle and sat rocking & feeding him, all the while listening to his little CD with scriptures and kids singing along with the writer/singer about not worrying and how we reap what we sow. 

I hugged and kissed him and apologized for making him cry.  He just kept sucking the bottle, didn't even acknowledge me or my tears that were coming up.  He didn't have to, I knew he was happy now.  My thoughts turned to my husband Keith.  He's got a little competition with this little guy for my attention.  I thought to myself how much I just hug and kiss on Noah...easily...but no so with Keith.  I mean I do kiss and hug him, but not alot like I do with Noah.  I know he needs my love just like Noah does.  I apologized to God for being stingy with my affection.  I don't want to love like that.  I want to lavish my loved ones with thoughtful actions and service unconditionally like I do for Noah.   I prayed the Holy Spirit would prompt me to love like He does. 

I want my life to reflect all I know about my Savior, that means a changed lifestyle.  It's a good thing God is patient....I'm still under construction.

Love one another....

I know, this sounds like something you know already...your momma already told you long ago or your sunday school teacher told you... "be kind to others, treat people the way you want to be treated, if you can't something nice, don't say nothing at all"... stuff like that.

I was reading in my borrowed book from my son-in-law Craig last night.."Blue Like Jazz" which I've been reading since the end of December a little at a time. I'm almost done Craig, I promise you'll get your book back. It's a deep book, sometimes a little out there, but last night I read about love & relationships and I thought to myself...THIS IS IT!!! Just like the author, I've been talking to myself about Christianity and how it can turn people off. Christians don't mean to do it, but we do...I include myself in the WE. Even preachers and preachers family members do it. I've heard it. AAAGGGHHH.... it makes me angry at WE. It makes me want to go out and apologize to people for the way WE treat people.

Don't understand what I'm writing about? I'm talking about how we USE our gift of love for others. As Christians the bible teaches us to love like Christ. We can't truly do that unless Christ is truly living in us. Stay with me here.

The author stated we use love as a comodity. If you be nice to me, or do something nice for me, then I'll give you "love" back. DID YOU HEAR ME? We only pay back good with love when we really should pay back "you're bad" or "you get on my nerves" or "you dress & smell bad" or "you're not like me" (fill in the blanks with what we don't like in people)... we should show love to all these scenarios... not just to the people who are kind to us, do nice things for us, show us love.

Doesn't that want to make you take a good hard look at yourself and ask yourself "Am I trying to love like Christ, or doing my own thing"? This includes people who YOU consider sinners...the people YOU look down on. Remember that when we point our finger at somebody we are pointing to ourselves too. Even on our best days as a Christian we are still sinners.

Something to ponder today... the day before we get up and take our selves, our children to church...and pretend.

Hmmm....I'm getting on my knees right now and asking for forgiveness, thanking God He does forgive and asking the Holy Spirit to truly change my heart to love like our Savior.
Time to ReAlign in '09....as my husband says.

Peace to all...and much LOVE!!

What's a Tickle Train?

I was just thinking about my blog title and realized I hadn't yet wrote about it.

As a young girl I loved my mothers gentle touches.  She used to tickle me on my bottom... I know that sounds weird, but it wasn't in a perverted way... it was just a loving touch.  I would have stayed still for hours for that.  I loved her touch.

The tickling continued with our girls.  It started for them after baths.  I would massage Baby Mennen lotion (I love their baby lotion over the norm by J&J)... anyways, after their little massage I would finish it off by gently tickling down the length of their little bodies.  They all seemed to love it soooo much.  They'd lay still and hardly breath...it was so cute.

As they grew tickling became a way of relaxation.  I can remember countless times of a child plopping down beside me to nudge my arm to begin the sought after mother's touch.

(Infact, they still love it as grown up girlies).

I can't remember exactly when the tickle train came to the station  but I can remember being "on the train"...I was always the caboose.  The girls would line up sitting Indian style in front of me.  I'm sure we had a way of who went first, but it eludes me now.  So this is how it went down:"

The rules were we would all tickle the person in front of us (except for the lead person of course.  If anybody stopped tickling we had to yell "stop"  or "keep tickling"...something like that (see what happens when you start to get old - your recollection doesn't recollect that gr8). 

So at some point (whenever I wanted) I'd call out "switch".  The lead would move to me and the other two would move up.  Everybody got tickled, except for me, but that's ok.

We'd go for awhile, as long as everybody got their "fix".

Another fun memory I had was our chore list.  We had a rotation of doing the dishes and feeding the pets.  The calendar on the fridge helped keep us organized.  I would mark on the side of each week K, C & B and put a D-for dishes or P-for pets beside the initial and kept the rotation going that way.  Whoever fed the pets also got to be in the front seat while traveling without their daddy.  The front seat child also got to me in charge of the radio.  Everyone knew the rules and that kept fighting down alot over crazy stuff like that.  One person would be "off" that week.  One day Brooke says (in front of her sisters), "mom, I have an idea...whoever is off can fold the laundry"...  HA!  Kacee & Carah yelled out "Brrrooooooke!!!"  I on the other hand thought that was a great idea.

I read many issues of Family Fun back in those days which really gave great advice as well as offering fun ways to be creative and learn at the same time.

One thing I wish I would have done differently:  been a better influence as a godly mother.  I was active in church, helping with Vacation Bible School and also was a mission leader for a while "Girls in Action", but the day to day learning wasn't sufficient as I look back.  I have a friend named Christina that I look up to in this area.  She's on my site here...check her out at "Light My Way".  She's the kind of mother I wish I had been years ago.  I know there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ... so, I'm kicking myself in the butt, God's not.  We are responsible to train our children the way they should go.  So, I have a second chance starting with sweet Noah.

We are going to have sooooo much fun...we are already.  Today I am teaching him the word KISS... I plan to give him a million or so today, think he'll get it?  :0)

Have a sweet day!  Make some memories, GOOD ones!!!